Mind Over Batter

I have a stray hair on my neck. A hair discovered by Mr. M.O.B. about 8 years ago. He proceeded to point, laugh, pluck it from my neck, and show it to me as proof of impending geriatric-dom. It was cruel, but I may have deserved it…

As I stared at the curly, fugly, stray hair the realization I was getting older dawned on me. One day I’d be rolling in a motorized scooter and instead of in my mouth, my teeth would be floating in some solution, and secured in place by Polydent.

I shuddered at the thought. Me, who at the time did not have a wrinkle in sight was suddenly faced with mortality as I held that one stray neck hair. I admit, for a while the sight of that hair was a source of panic. I felt my friends staring at it, whispering; “Oh, she’s aging… It’s only a matter of time before she needs that hip replaced and starts talking about vitamins”. I’d pluck that damn hair from my neck and out of my life – At least until it reappeared – Alongside visions of third rate nursing homes, a wig most likely placed askew upon my head, and endless games of Bingo.

Eventually I got over it and began accepting the stray hair as part of life. I began to greet it as a passing distant friend, calling it old fugly bastard, plucking it from my neck and bidding it goodbye as it swirled in a pool of sink water down the drain. Adios amigo!

As the years passed I saw less and less of the stray hair until one day while absentmindedly massaging my neck I felt the old familiar prickle of the fugly bastard. I plucked it with one practiced pull and stared at it, dumbfounded. The stray neck hair was now…Silver. After a brief moment of panic I greeted my old friend as before and said; “Looks like you’re getting old too, mofo… Yeah, it happens to the best of us”. Then I flushed it down the toilet. Adios old friend…

Oh, I didn’t bring you here to talk about stray neck hair, though I am quite certain you found the story riveting. The deal is I’m getting older.

Age is inevitable…

I turned 34 yesterday. A year older… A year wiser… With a couple more wrinkles etched in my skin; but it’s all good… I have finally accepted I can’t look 18 forever – Believe me; I tried as long as I could… I’m carving a life I can be proud of; so as long as I’m carvin’, I’m livin’ – And that’s what counts, not crows feet or grandma hands.

Yesterday I rolled in this 1950’s reproduction dress, complete with string of pearls, did this birthday booty dance and blew the candles off this beautiful coconut lime cake…

A cake inspired by yet another song.

This song…

It’s like undiluted tropical drinks and sunscreen…

Like bright sunshine and palm trees…

Like ocean blue…

Like every bite is gonna feel good, taste good…

Like turning 34 ain’t no thang…

Like it ain’t no thang…

Love,

Me…

: Coconut Lime Cake

: Adapted From Fine Cooking

For the Cake:

• 10 oz. (2 ½ sticks) unsalted butter, softened at room temperature; more for the pan
• 10-1/4 oz. (2-1/2 cups) cake flour; more for the pan
• 1-1/2 tsp. baking powder
• 1/2 tsp. table salt
• 1-3/4 cups granulated sugar
• 2 large egg yolks, at room temperature
• 3 large eggs, at room temperature
• 1 cup coconut milk, room temperature
• 1/4 cup fresh lime juice
• 1 heaping cup loosely packed sweetened flaked coconut
• 1 1/2 tsp. finely grated lime zest
• 1-1/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract
• 1 cup of toasted coconut flakes (directions follow)
• Lime slices for garnish (optional)

For the Glaze:

• 1 cup confectioners’ sugar
• 6 Tbs. coconut milk
• 1 ¼ tsp lime juice

For the Toasted Coconut:

• 1 cup of loosely packed sweetened flaked coconut

Toast the Coconut:

1. Preheat the oven to 300°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and spread the sweetened flaked coconut in a nice thin even layer. Bake for about 20 minutes, stirring every 5 minutes or so to ensure the coconut is evenly brown. Remove from the oven and set aside to cool.

Bake the Cake:

1. Position a rack in the center of the oven and raise the oven temperature to 325°F. Butter a 12-cup Bundt pan, dust the pan with flour, and tap out the excess. In a small bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt until evenly combined. Sift once and set aside.
2. In the bowl of an electric stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the butter and the sugar at medium speed until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes.
3. Reduce the mixer speed to low and beat in the yolks one at a time until eggs are fully incorporated. Stop the mixer and scrape the bowl.
4. 4. Increase the mixer speed to medium-low and add the whole eggs, one at a time, until fully incorporated into the batter. Stir in the vanilla extract. Stop and scrape the mixer.
5. With the mixer running on the lowest speed, add half of the flour mixture followed by the coconut milk and lime juice and mix until just combined, and then add the remaining flour mixture followed by the coconut milk and lime juice. Mix just until combined.
6. Scrape the bowl one last time and add the flaked coconut and lime zest. Mix at low speed until the batter is smooth and fluffy, about 20 seconds.
7. Scrape the batter into the prepared pan and spread it evenly. Tap the pan against the counter to dislodge trapped air and to even out the batter. Bake until the cake is golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with only a few moist crumbs clinging to it, 50 to 55 minutes.
8. Cool cake in the pan for 10 minutes then invert to a cooling rack. Allow to cool for another 15 minutes. While the cake is cooling make the glaze.

Glaze the Cake:

1. Stir together the confectioner’s sugar, coconut milk and lime juice until smooth. After the baked cake has cooled for 15 minutes, using a skewer, poke a few holes all over the cake. Brush the cake evenly with the glaze. You may or may not use the entire glaze. This is fine.
2. Allow the glaze to set for a few minutes, and then top the cake with the toasted coconut flakes. You can garnish with lime slices to make it look pretty… Just don’t eat the lime slices… It ruins the experience.

Preparation time: 15 minute(s)

Cooking time: 55 minute(s)

Number of servings (yield): 12