Mind Over Batter

On an embarrassment scale of 1-10, where would this rank?

You exit the office bathroom and as you walk back to your desk someone discovers part of your dress tucked inside your panties.

On an embarrassment scale of 1-10, where would this rank?

You’re wearing fuschia granny panties.

Ab.So.Lute.Ly Mortifying…

This almost happened to me last week, narrowly avoided by consistently employing the phrase: Check yourself before you wreck yourself. As I adjusted the belt on my dress, I ran a hand down my backside and noticed my dress bunched inside my underwear. I can’t explain the level of embarrassment I suffered in a span of 15 seconds.

I pictured walking to my desk; a co-worker points out my mishap. Everyone points and laughs at the chick with the dress tucked inside her intimates…

For years…

Long after I’m gone my department will sit together for lunch and remember me: The chick with the dress tucked inside her fuchsia panties. Belly laughs will ensue until liquid squirts out of someone’s nose.

I owe Ice Cube big times for this. I avoided one of the most mortifying deals since my cousin posted a childhood photo of my very ashy knees and belly button exposing top on Facebook.

Oh the shame!!

I need an ice cream float. Not just any ice cream float – No, that won’t do. My fuchsia (fuchsia!) granny panties were thisclose to being on display! Do you know how embarrassing that could have been?! Did I mention the chick to dude ratio in my office is like, 5:1? I’d have to crawl in a hole. I’d walk around with a paper bag on my face.

I’d…

I’d…

I don’t even know… My cheeks turn purple every time I think about it.

So humiliating – And it didn’t even happen…

But it could have…

I was THISCLOSE.

I’ve gots to have an ice cream float.

I’ve gots to have an apple pie ice-cream float with caramelized apple pieces and warm fall spices. I need comfort. I need apple pie without the hassle of a pie crust or an oven.

I have to go hard and quick here. I need this in 10 minutes or less.

Dudes almost caught site of my grannies. How do you even explain that?

I need ice-cream. Who cares if it’s December? An apple pie ice cream float, well – Now that’s just comforting enough to make me feel better.

Dang… I need me some of this…

My cheeks are still purple with embarrassment….

Love,

Me…

 

: Apple Pie Ice Cream Float

Source: An M.O.B. Production

Makes 1 Apple Pie Ice Cream Float…

• 1 medium sized granny smith apple, thinly sliced
• 1/4 tsp. light brown sugar
• 1/4 tsp. ground cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp. ground ginger
• 1/8 tsp. ground cloves
• Healthy pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1 tbsp. of water
• 1/3 cup club soda
• 5 medium scoops of vanilla ice cream

1. In a small saucepan over medium heat combine the sliced apples, water, brown sugar, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, nutmeg and vanilla extract. Cook stirring constantly until the sugar and spices are syrupy and the apples soften a bit, but still have a bit of a bite to them; about 5 minutes. Remove from heat and allow the apples and syrup to cool completely.
2. In a tall glass combine the club soda and about 1/2 the apple mixture. Stir until combined. Add 3 scoops of vanilla ice cream and add the remaining apple mixture, leaving about a teaspoon of syrup for drizzling. Top with 2 more scoops of ice cream. Drizzle with apple syrup. Dip a straw and a spoon and go to TOWN on that bad boy. Don’t even wait, just go for it.

Preparation time: 5 minute(s)

Cooking time: 5 minute(s)

Number of servings (yield): 1