FULL DISCLOSURE SITUATION: I watched all 8 seasons of Desperate Housewives last year. Back to back. I watched NOTHING but Desperate Housewives. For WEEKS.
What can I say? There was a lot going on in my life, lots happening in my brains – And I needed a mindless show. Otherwise I would have lost my mind. I know… Weird.
Honestly, I hit play with an eye roll as I intended to watch only a few episodes – but got totally immersed in the show, in the characters each of these women portrayed. I began to see facets my personality in each and every single one. If I lived in Wisteria Lane I would be like, desperate Sybil or something – Baking muffins like Bree, tripping over the tray like Susan, while sharp mouthing it like Lynette in a pair of Gabrielle coveted Jimmy Choos.
When I finished watching all 8 seasons I was fully convinced I wanted to live in Wisteria lane and eat Chardonnay floats for the rest of my life. I didn’t. There is no such thing as Wisteria Lane. But I wanted to live there. I even convinced Mr. M.O.B. to plant wisteria. He didn’t. It’s not a weather feasible situation in NYC.
Damn it – I don’t even drink Chardonnay. I’m not a wine drinker, actually. It’s not that I don’t like wine, I do – It’s just – And flame me if you want, but I find some wine drinkers sort of pretentious. It’s booze. From grapes. Stop the insanity – It’s not that serious. Holding a wine glass and looking down at us rum drinking folk does not automatically make you classy – Nor does it make you an instant sommelier. It makes you a wino know-it-all.
Ah, there’s the Lynette personality. It’s the one I like best. Let’s talk about this strawberry vodka ice cream float.
Flow with me…
I infused vodka. With strawberries.
And if you follow me on The Facebook, I asked my followers to infuse vodka with me – For the purpose of making a booze float – ‘cause it’s still summer, and I’m boozing like a mofo. I planned to make this a mojito float, but nah – We’re making strawberries shine here; kicking doors, smashing windows – Highlighting strawberries till it’s time to showcase apples and cinnamon.
Strawberry simple syrup situation. Make that happen.
Macerated strawberries. Do it.
Build yourself a float, homies.
Place macerated strawberries and syrup in a glass.
Add your newly infused vodka. Pour as much as you can tolerate. Half a glass is your tolerance situation? I’m not judging you. Go.For.Yours.
A few ice cream scoops.
And a float ain’t a float without seltzer.
Go deep. Make it count.
- For the strawberry infused vodka
- 1 lb of fresh, ripe strawberries -
- 750 ml bottle of vodka (decently priced bottle) -
- One 1-Quart jar or any 1-Quart container with a tight fitting lid -
- For the macerated strawberries
- 10-12 strawberries, sliced in half or quarters -
- 3 tablespoons granulated sugar -
- 1/4 teaspoon vanilla bean paste (optional) -
- For the strawberry syrup
- 3 cups fresh strawberries -
- 1 cup of cold water -
- 1 cup of granulated sugar -
- Splash of vanilla extract -
- For the strawberry vodka float
- 1-2 tablespoons strawberry syrup (or as much as you want) -
- 2 heaping tablespoons macerated strawberries -
- 2-3 ounces strawberry infused vodka (more if you want a real boozy situation) -
- Few scoops of vanilla ice cream -
- Seltzer water -
- Strawberries for garnish -
Infuse the vodka (about 3-4 days in advance of your float)
Hull and slice the strawberries. Place strawberries in the jar and pour enough vodka to cover the strawberries.
Seal with a tight fitting lid and store the jar in a cool dark place for 5 days and up to a week, giving it a daily dose of agitation (shake it, baby). Strain the mixture over a strainer lined with a coffee filter or cheesecloth taking care to squeeze the strawberries to extract all the liquor. Pour into 2 one cup jars and cover with a lid. Makes about 2 cups of strawberry flavored vodka.
Macerate your strawberries:
Place the strawberries in a small bowl and sprinkle the sugar on top. Add the vanilla bean paste (if using) and stir until combined. Stir the strawberries occasionally until the berries are juicy, 30 minutes to 1 hour.
Make the strawberry syrup:
Combine the strawberries, water, sugar, and vanilla extract in a small pot. Bring to a boil over high heat. Lower the heat and simmer until the sugar is completely dissolved and the strawberries have and softened, about 15 minutes. Remove from heat and strain the mixture, pressing on the solids to extract as much liquid as possible. Discard the solids or save them for another use. Syrup will keep in the refrigerator for about a month and can be used for sodas and other boozy drink situations.
Build your float:
To an 8 ounce glass add the strawberry syrup, followed by 1 tablespoon of macerated strawberries. Add your strawberry vodka and stir to combine. Add a couple of scoops of ice cream, followed by the remaining macerated berries. Top with seltzer and another scoop of ice cream, if desired.Garnish with strawberries if you want your jam to look pretty.
Vodka, macerated strawberries, and syrup makes at least 4 floats.