It’s a sunny Sunday afternoon.
You’re simultaneously cleaning, folding laundry, yelling at one of your kids, and are in the beginning stages of prepping a barbecue dinner situation.
You’re tired, your hair is droopy from the heat.
Your husband calls.
Riiiiiinnnnngggg (You have an old school ringtone)
You: *Aggravated* Hey.
Him: Hey, how busy are you?
You: I’m crazy busy right now.
Him: Oh, well, um… I’m bringing four people over. I need you to impress them with your mad cooking skillz and a killer dessert.
You start to argue, stop yourself and ask…
You: * I don’t have time for this voice* How much time do I have?
Him: I’ll be home in 30 minutes. That’s enough time for you to pull this off, right?
No – It’s not enough time, you mofo. But you don’t yell. OK, you yell – But you don’t threaten to hurt him physically, because you know – No one looks good in cornrows and commissary issue mascara.
You quickly prep extra for the grill.
Dessert, however, is whole ‘nother situation.
You have what, 20 minutes? That’s not enough time!! OK – Don’t hurt him.
Inventory your pantry, fridge, and liquor cabinet.
- Soft baked mini chocolate chip cookies
- Confectioners sugar
- Cocoa powder
- Vanilla extract
- Vanilla bean paste
- Heavy cream
- Cream cheese
I got you, homeslice…
You can make a killer cheesecake dessert in 15 minutes.
Yea, you can.
Flow with me.
This is a quick no bake situation. Yes, no bake – Which means you don’t have to melt into a brown puddle in front of the oven.
Start with a cream cheese base. Cold cream cheese – We ain’t got time for this room temperature BS. Cream cheese, confectioners’ sugar, cocoa powder, extract, and kahlua are going in your stand mixer.
Don’t have a stand mixer?
Hand mixer works.
Don’t have a hand mixer?
Don’t even worry about it. Whip it. Get that arm workout in.
Whip this jammy ’till smooth. Add heavy cream and whip until thickened and the mix has this nice mousse-y consistency.
How long did this take you?
About 7 minutes.
You have 8 minutes left.
Scoop your Kahlua cheesecake cream into a piping bag or a ziplock. Get those mini glasses from your cabinet. You’re all about the presentation. Place one mini chocolate chip cookie at the bottom of each glass, then add some kahlua cheesecake cream. Alternate that jammy till you reach the top.
Top with a cute mini chocolate chip cookie. It looks pretty, roll with it.
Place the mini glasses in the refrigerator to chill.
Fix your hair, refresh your makeup, and throw on a pretty necklace. Stand by the door. Look cool. Pretend you do this all the time.
Your guests arrive. You talk, you laugh, you feed them… You are Ever the hostess.
You serve dinner, followed by dessert. Your guests will compliment you to the high heavens. They’ll talk about the kahlua cheesecake for days. Oh, the chocolate flavor and that bite of coffee liqueur. Both boozy and chocolatey! Smooth! Rich! And the mini chocolate chip cookies?!
Oh My Gawwww!
“Oh, man – This is deliciously decadent!” – They’ll say.
They’ll beg you for the recipe, all the while feeling slightly intimidated. Asking themselves – How could she possibly pull this off? Really, how does she do it? It looks so difficult!
You’ll stand there… Smile… Cool as a damn cucumber. ‘Cause you pulled this jammy off in 15 minutes with time to refresh your makeup and do your hair.
And now your husband owes you big time…
To a bowl fitted with a whisk attachment, add cream cheese, confectioners' sugar, Kahlua, cocoa powder, vanilla extract and paste. Begin mixing over low speed until the confectioners' sugar is somewhat incorporated.
Increase the speed to high and whip until combined and mixture is smooth. Stop and scrape the mixer. Continue whipping on high and add the heavy cream in 3 parts, making sure the whip cream has incorporated and thickened before each addition.
Whip until the mixture is thickened and has a mousse consistency. Stop the mixer. Add the cheesecake mixture to a piping bag fitted with a star or round tip. A ziplock bag works here too. Be sure to snip the end of the ziplock bag. You can also spoon this jammy. It's cool.
To 6, 4 ounce mini cups or mason jars, add 1 mini chocolate chip cookie. Spoon or pipe the kahlua cheesecake cream. Top with a mini chocolate chip cookie. Alternate spooning cheesecake cream and adding cookies until you reach the top. Be sure to end with the cheesecake cream. If desired, top with a mini chocolate chip cookie. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
Makes 6, 4 ounce minis or 12, 2 ounce minis.
Note: This is incredibly rich. I would go for the 2 ounce minis. If you're down with richness, go for the 4 ounce and have a glass of milk handy.
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