If I took a poll, I think people who like gruesome Halloween and cute Halloween would be split down the middle.
I’m gruesome all the way.
The bloodier, the better.
The scarier, the better.
This new trend of slutty mommies trick-or-treating alongside their beautiful pint sized Disney princess?
That needs to go. Slutty Mommy needs to be scared out her fishnets. I’m dressing up as a zombie. The more decomposed I look, the better I feel.
Halloween is night of the creeps, yo. It’s Nightmare on Elm Street, it’s slasher flicks. It’s dolls which come to life and try to possess you.
It’s the one night where you dress up as something or someone else. Make it creepy as f***.
Let’s talk about this gruesome Halloween cake situation.
I made this cake a few years ago for a party my cousin was throwing.
It’s almost ALL edible.
And to date, it’s my favorite Halloween creation. I wanted to make an equally gruesome cake this year; however, I couldn’t fit it in. I’m not a cake decorator, so a cake like this will take roughly 14 hours to complete.
But I wanted you to see it.
And know which camp I roll on. You know, so there’s no question later.
Are you in my gruesome Halloween camp?
Flow with me, then.
My favorite part of this cake wasn’t the crisped rice treat head with its bloody tongue, or the body that resembles a dismembered torso, or playing with my airbrush – It’s the overhang I made to look like flesh; flesh I painted with fake blood.
Want to learn how to make fake blood?
It’s easy, yo – And it only takes 3 ingredients – 2 of which you may already have chillin’ in your pantry.
All you need here is light corn syrup, Americolor Red gel paste (which is the deepest red I know), and a bit of cocoa powder. Mix that together and you can make the cake of your Halloween dreams.
Halloween is supposed to be horrific and repugnant. It’s supposed to scare the pants off of you. Halloween should make you feel like you’re driving past a nasty car wreck… There’s blood, there’s guts; but you can’t make yourself look away…
You are supposed to spend Halloween throwing back your shower curtain and bracing yourself for Jason to come at you with a butcher knife.
Shock… Fear… Disgust…
There’s no feeling like it… It’s damn terrific.
That is how our forefathers intended it.
And they should know – They made up those nasty horror stories and bred masters like Wes Craven, Stephen King and the directors of Saw….
Embrace your inner nasty…
Happy Halloween, ya’ll!
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