Brown butter blondies studded with walnuts and semi-sweet chocolate chips.

Hello…?

*taps mic*

*feedback*

Hello…?

Is this thing on?

Hi, y’all.

I know, I know… I disappeared for a while. A long while, actually. Damn near two months.

I’m not very good at apologies. Seriously… I don’t know how to. I usually bake people cookies or make them candles or do something nice to show I’m repentant beyond two meaningless words.

2017 was a tough year. I weathered a bit, aged like twelve years. I put on what I call the Trump 20. Twenty whole pounds added to my already overweight frame.

I spent a lot of time watching the news, waiting for… I don’t know… Waiting for shit to not be so fucking horrible.

I worried about the direction in which humans are headed. We are no longer in a space where two things can be true at once.

We are now in spaces of:

  • Either/or
  • If you’re not with me, you’re against me
  • Do we kneel? Do we stand? Nobody is watching football
  • If you don’t agree with Trump, you’re anti-American
  • It’s now apparently OK to be a Nazi or openly racist
  • Whataboutism and false equivalencies
  • Demonizing immigrants who by the fucking way – Contribute in ways we can’t even begin to comprehend. From Agriculture to STEM fields, immigrants are lit as hell.

The Democrats are fractured.

The Bernie wing vs. the Hillary wing – And god help those who are in the middle; those who see how each of these groups is right and wrong. At the same damn time.

This tribalism is so strange.

I feel like a triangle trying to force myself into one of those circle pegs.

Nuance has been removed from the conversation. Context is non-existent. Proof is a thing of the past. Facts… What are facts? People have been reduced to memes devoid of research and reason and historical proof.

This zapped my will to bake, something I enjoyed immensely. I kept taking weeks off at a time, depending on content I had already shot. One day in December following what I still think is a shit post – I decided – Fuck it. I’m taking the time I need without feeling guilt or pressure to churn out content

I need to reclaim what I lost last past year: My passion for baking, my love of sharing food, and my ability to bring humor to every situation no matter how fucked up.

I intend to bake my way through Bravetart’s new cookbook this year. I love her shit. She’s solid.

I will come back to baking and desserts. When I’m ready.

I hope you guys stick around.

In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed these blondies I baked sometime in October. Four times.  They’re my way of saying I’m sorry and I’ll do better.

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