Homemade granola has never been easier! This Kitchen Sink Granola has all the things! Good things! Lightly sweetened with raw organic honey, brown sugar syrup, and a hint of brown sugar. Chock full of nuts, seeds, and coconut flakes – For texture, nutrients, and a bit o’ protein. Finally, apple butter and warm spices to observe the fall stylo!
This morning I swatted a fly with a magazine featuring Idris Elba’s face on the cover. I, of course, promptly apologized to Idris’ gorgeous face. In fact, I was horrified. I just swatted a fly with Idris’ face!! Have you seen that man? That’s not a fly swatting face. Then I thought – You know – Idris has done his job.
His job as a man is to hang shit, reach for things, and kill insects I’m creeped out by. I’m not married to Idris Elba, of course. But the same rules apply to my husband.
I’m ok with roaches and spiders. Something in my brains says, these will not harm you. Much.
I am, however, terrified of flies and ALL rodents. If a raccoon walked up to me, I will run the opposite direction. And if I have a kid with me, that kid better run fast enough to keep up.
Squirrel? Bitch, you can’t fool me – You’re a rat with a bushy tail. I never liked Chip and Dale. The cartoon squirrels Chip and Dale. I felt the need to clarify.
Bat? There is nothing cute about a flying rat that communicates through the equivalent of sonar. Not.A.Damn.Thing. Sonar creeps me out and I don’t even know why.
Which brings me to my final rodent fear – Mice. Eww. Eeeeew! Even a dead one. I will wake my husband from sleep to pick one up and throw it away.
That’s his job. It’s why I married him.
That – To check for random noises, assure me we have no ghosts in the house, and answer the door to strangers.
He knows his place.
My place, is in the kitchen. At the risk of sounding cliché as hell, it really is where I shine.
We’re trying to eat healthy(er). We’re getting older and since we’re in this marriage thing for life – We wish to be one of those old couples who isn’t aching and complaining about pains all the time.
We aim to be that cute silver haired couple in the retirement home who speed walks to Bingo while playfully insulting each other.
But we can’t do that if we eat cookies all the time. And we DO eat cookies all the time. Him especially (Mmhmm – That’s right – I just outed you, bruh).
So I’m making healthyish, wholesomeish food situations.
Like this Kitchen Sink Granola.
Flow with me, let’s talk about this situation.
I call this ‘Kitchen Sink’ granola because I added whatever the hell was in my cupboards and fridge at the time.
Oats? It ain’t granola without it!
The last ¼ cup of walnuts? In!
That package of slivered almonds in the back? Do it!
Is that jar of peanuts taking up room and there’s only about ½ cup left? Toss it in!
That bit of leftover sweetened flaked coconut from the time you made macaroons? Get in there, boo!
Flaxseed and sesame seeds are all up in here, too. For health and shit.
Oh, and I had a little bit of brown sugar in a Ziploc bag. I couldn’t bring myself to toss away 3 precious tablespoons of brown sugar. In it went!
Spices. ‘Cause its fall, yo!
In addition to these leftover bits, I added apple butter to this mix.
First, because the recipes I found called for applesauce and I figured this was close enough.
Second because I had a bit left in a jar and needed the jar for more apple butter.
I was out of regular honey, so I used raw honey. Much better for you, anyway.
And I had this jar of brown sugar syrup I was dying to try. Plus, brown sugar syrup makes granola clump better. I read that somewhere.
This is all mixed and baked over low temps, stirring every once in a while. Once it cools, it clumps in places and becomes crunchy. Not break a tooth, crunchy. That good crunchy. I added raisins and some dried cherries and blueberries here. You know, leftover from some salad I made.
I ate this Kitchen Sink Granola by the handful.
You can swirl into your smoothie bowls or in your Greek yogurt situations. Whatever floats that boat.
Kitchen Sink granola. Versatile – You can literally add anything or all the things and never go wrong.
You taste fall in this granola – With its warm spices and dollop of apple butter. The nuts and seeds make it much more filling than your usual granola situation.
It’s fantastic, wholesome, lightly sweetened.
What are you waiting for?
Get to granola-ing.
Kitchen Sink Granola
- Oats (old fashioned, not quick cooking) - 3 cups
- Slivered almonds - 1 cup
- Peanuts - ½ cup
- Walnut - ¼ cup
- Sesame seeds - ½ cup
- Flaxseed - 2 tablespoons
- Sweetened flaked coconut - ½ cup
- Ground cinnamon - 1 ½ teaspoon
- Ground ginger - ½ teaspoon
- Ground cloves - ¼ teaspoon
- Ground nutmeg - ¼ teaspoon
- Kosher salt - 1 scant teaspoon
- Brown sugar, packed - 3 tablespoons
- Coconut oil - 1 tablespoon
- Apple butter - 1/3 cup
- Brown sugar syrup - ¼ cup
- Raw honey - ¼ cup
- Good splash of vanilla extract
- Raisins - 1 cup
- Dried blueberries - ¾ cup
- Dried cherries - ½ cup
Preheat the oven to 300° Fahrenheit and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
In a very large bowl combine oats, almonds, peanuts, walnuts, sesame seeds, flax seed, sweetened flaked coconut, spices, salt, and brown sugar. Mix to combine the ingredients and set aside.
In a small saucepan, briefly warm the coconut oil, apple butter, brown sugar syrup, raw honey, and vanilla extract.
Pour the wet ingredients over the dry ingredients and mix until the dry ingredients are well moistened.
Pour the granola on the baking sheet. Flatten and even out. Place baking sheet in the oven and bake for 40-45 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes or so with a pair of tongs to prevent burn spots and ensure even baking.
Remove granola from the oven and allow it to cool completely. Granola will crunch as it cools. Mix in the raisins, blueberries, and dried cherries.
Once completely cool, store in an airtight sealed container or mason jars.
Granola will keep about a month.