As I looked in the mirror this morning I discovered one more eye wrinkle. I thought, “Damn, I’m getting wicked old”.

I’m usually horrified at the thought and every so often the “kick in the gut” nostalgia kicks in, making me yearn for days when I sported six pack abs, and the fresh face of a Ponds girl. I got over it quickly – OK, I may or may not have worn something slightly inappropriate to work to make myself feel better.

Oh, time marches on – And though I am grateful to have approached the last of my MILF years (almost) intact, the signs are difficult to ignore; or accept, rather… Oh, you know what I’m talkin’ about – Subtle signs which are less straightforward than wrinkles, grandma hands, and stray chin hairs.

The, “Oh, so subtle” signs that prove time marches on and your ass is getting old.

Flow with me, I’ve got examples…

–          If you have trouble explaining to your kids what a rotary phone looked like… That’s a sign…

–          If when listening to your favorite radio station the DJ says, “Let me kick it up with some classics”, and pumps songs YOU were jamming to when you reached young adulthood… That’s a sign…

–          If when bending to reach for something your knees pop like firecrackers… That’s a sign… And perhaps you ought to consider a vitamin regimen, or WD40.

–          If your phrases begin with “When I was your age” or “People didn’t behave that way in my day!” … That’s a sign.

–          If you get “little kid” excited when you see a cassette player, and magically whip out a “mix tape” … That’s a sign, homie.

Signs – Try as we might to ignore, become a daily reminder we’re aging… Every single one of us, dude – Believe it…


You know what never gets old?


Salads are never considered old, passé, obsolete – Instead salads seem to be frozen in time. Salads have the secret to the fountain of youth written in old parchment. They get reg shots of Juviderm and Botox, and know the best plastic surgeons for tummy tucks and face-lifts.

Salads have timeless power we can only dream of. There are whole chapters in cookbooks dedicated to the everlasting staying power of salads, and there’s even a month dedicated to it.

Am I rambling?


Just make this salad…You don’t even need to pop your dentures in, you can just gum it to death. Blood oranges, softened onions, and spinach make up this baby. AND! There’s an orange dressing that will rock your pants off, and offset that slightly bitter flavor raw spinach seems to give off. You can even add some feta cheese if you like. It’s delicious, it’s simple, it’s fast, and it won’t aggravate your arthritic hands… Much…

Did I mention an orange dressing that’s going to rock your pants off?

Is that inappropriate, rocking your pants off? Or does it make you feel young?

-Botox Desperate Housewives young – Or MTV Spring Break circa 1994 young?

You tell me…




: Blood Orange and Red Onion Salad
For the dressing
  • 1 cup of orange juice, preferably freshly squeezed
  • 1 1/2 teaspoon honey
  • 1 tablespoon of soy sauce
  • 1 1/2 tablespoon rice wine vinegar
  • 1 small onion, diced very finely
  • 2 garlic cloves grated finely, preferably in a microplane
  • 2 tsps. freshly grated ginger
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • Salt and pepper, to taste
For the salad
  • 2 cups spinach
  • 2 small onions sliced thinly
  • 2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
  • 2 blood oranges, sliced
  • ½ cup feta cheese (optional)
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  1. To make the dressing – In a food processor combine the orange juice, honey, soy sauce, rice wine vinegar, onion, garlic cloves and freshly grated ginger. Process this for a few seconds. Add the olive oil in a stream and process until it comes together, about 30 seconds. You can season with salt and pepper if you like.
  1. To make the salad – In a small bowl, combine the red onions with 2 tablespoons of rice wine vinegar and season lightly with salt and white pepper. Allow to stand at room temperature until softened, about 15 minutes. Drain the vinegar from the onions and set onions aside.
  2. While the onions are softening, using a sharp knife, peel the blood oranges, removing all of the bitter white pith. Thinly slice the oranges crosswise, removing any pits. Arrange the spinach on a platter, and then arrange the oranges slices on top of the spinach. Scatter the red onions on top. Sprinkle feta cheese if using, and drizzle with the  salad dressing.

Preparation time: 20 minute(s)

Cooking time:

Number of servings (yield): 2


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