Summer snuck up on you this week, and I know what you’re thinking…
You don’t want to shave your legs.
Your legs had sprouted 2 furry Chia pets, which you were content to keep up for another month or so.
I’m not judging you… In fact, I wish I were you. Unfortunately, working in a corporate environment is not conducive to furry gorilla legs. It’s a Bummer, I tell you… Winters are wicked cold.
You don’t want to let go of the fur. You want to pass your legs off as a pair of knee high Ugg boots in 80 degree weather.
I understand, but you can’t… You just can’t… Let it go… Whip out that Epil lady or Venus razor and get shaving… Hook up them legs with some lotion, girl. Make them soft, supple, and decidedly less… Ashy…
Throw on a nice skirt, some espadrilles and let those legs see some vitamin D from Mr. Sun.
We’ll talk about dinner in a second…
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Now wasn’t that nice? Did you enjoy the weather? Did you notice that guy staring at your smooth cocoa butter legs?
What?!
You liked that…
You’re welcome…
You don’t want to spend too much time cooking today… I can dig that. You just shaved your legs, and it took a while. You clogged your tub, because the last time your legs saw a razor was late September. I get it; but newly shaven chicks have GOTS to eat.
Flow with me… I’m going to make this easy on you…
Skillet Lasagna – All you need is a skillet, some no boil lasagna sheets and this lasagna is ready in 30 minutes. 30 MINUTES! ON THE STOVE TOP! No 425 degree Fahrenheit oven forcing you to further crank up your AC, sweating the cocoa butter off your legs. Grab some forks and dig in straight from the skillet. Watch that well overdue season of True Blood. Best part? Your dirty dishes are one skillet and a few forks. #Truelifestory
OK, so you don’t want to be bothered with turning on the stove. I dig that too. I was feeling that groove just last night, so I made this Cilantro Lime Chickpea salad.
The dressing is killer, and all you needs is a food processor and a bowl. The only thing you chop is onions. All else is taken care of by the food processor.
Don’t dig chickpeas? It’s cool. Try this corn and black bean salad, instead. It’s bright, refreshing, and takes less than 15 minutes to prepare. You can grate some cheddar, grab some four tortillas and turn it into a wrap. If you’re gluten-free or vegan you can omit the cheese and the tortilla. Go for this…
Are you thinking, maybe, you just want to eat crackers for dinner? Why don’t you spread this tasty spinach basil and walnut pesto on your crackers? Who wants to eat boring old crackers for dinner, anyway?
Perhaps you’re the type who likes to drink your dinner. That’s cool… Respect… Make this strawberry banana smoothie. It’s a meal in a glass, and who doesn’t love strawberries and swirly straws?
Or how about this morir soñando? I’ve remixed this classic Latin drink with almond milk. #Creamsiclelove.
Let’s say you’re a lush, and you like to tip back the bottle for dinner? I’m not judging you. Sometimes a chick just needs a drink. Or 7… Whatever… Just keep it fancy, and try this strawberry mint mojito. If you’re a lush, you clearly have some strawberry infused vodka in your liquor storage… If not, I just hooked you up…
You want your dinner sweet and frozen? I got you, boo… I’ve got sherbet for days… Sherbet gives you almost, almost the consistency of ice cream without all the calories, the fat, and the custard cooking and straining. Easy…
Strawberry Sherbet… Cooking down strawberries and swirling them in heavy cream… Delicious…
Orange Sherbet – Orange sherbet just makes everything brighter…
And let’s face it, honey – You’re gonna need it because next stop is a pedicure…
Pro tip?
Give yourself a pre-pedicure at home before you hit the spa. No one needs to know you’ve been setting off sparks every time you take a step on bare feet.
Love…
Me…
