Coffee granules are steeped in milk overnight, then frozen to nerve jolting creamy perfection. Cold Brew Ice Cream for breakfast? Sign me up!

Cold Brew Ice Cream {mind-over-batter.com}

 

I plan to shove these photos of Cold Brew Ice Cream in your faces.

I will try to make this post about photos, about this ice cream. But should I end up rambling as I often do, bear with me.

Loads has been said lately, and if I must be honest with you and myself, my faith in humanity has taken a tumble straight to an abyss.

*AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH* That was me, in the abyss.

Cold Brew Ice Cream {mind-over-batter.com}

I’ve read too many words of hatred the past 48 hours.

So much name calling, so much vitriol controlling  fingertips that it’s become too much.

Unless you’ve been living overseas  in an underground cave where WiFi cannot penetrate, I’m pretty sure you have heard of the mother whose son darted towards and fell into a Silverback gorilla habitat in a Cincinnati zoo. Long story short – A Silverback Gorilla on the endangered species list was shot and killed, the kid is OK, and the internet is calling the mom negligent and irresponsible. Videos have emerged, experts have been weighing in, infographics created. Petitions have been signed, and pretty soon  a walk of atonement will be scheduled to ensure this mother is contrite enough for the hover moms of America.

Cold Brew Ice Cream {mind-over-batter.com}

Everyone is now a gorilla conservationist, ‘a la’ Dian Fossey, though their clear lack of proper grammar and hateful rhetoric indicates, Disney’s animated movie Tarzan was probably the only time they made a passing acquaintance with a gorilla.

And now race has entered into this huge pile of gorilla dung and stereotypes are flung like chimpanzee poop, with about as much substance.

So you see, I’m kind of done with it.

Cold Brew Ice Cream {mind-over-batter.com}

So I made ice cream.

This Cold Brew Ice Cream has been churned three times in the past 7 days.

Each time this ice cream lasts about a day. I haven’t been sleeping much, vibrating in place mostly. I cleaned out a closet, so there’s that. Also, at some point my thighs will fuse to form one giant ass thigh, which just means I am thisclose to becoming a mermaid.

Cold Brew Ice Cream {mind-over-batter.com}

So let’s talk about this situation. Fair warning: The flavor is this ice cream is not nuanced. It’s a caffeinated punch in the face. If you’re looking for weak ass coffee ice cream, may I suggest you look elsewhere. No hard feelings, boo. The caffeinated force is strong on this one.

This ice cream begins with 2/3 cup of coffee granules steeped in milk for at least 3 hours. I prefer 8, but I won’t tell you how to live. More milk and heavy cream are added to the mixture and strained. Sugar is added (it is ice cream, after all), a little vanilla extract, and the mixture is brought to a simmer.

Cold Brew Ice Cream {mind-over-batter.com}

I love custard based ice cream; however, in the interest of time, and because custard ice cream is just a bit too high maintenance for me right now, I went the cornstarch route. Cornstarch gives this ice cream its smooth mouth feel, making it addictive enough to churn three times in one week.

Of course I added dulce de leche to the finished ice cream. I mean, nothing says thighs fused together like dulce de leche.

#mermaidgoals

Cold Brew Ice Cream {mind-over-batter.com}

If you’ll excuse me, I plan to exit the interwebs and read a book, with pages like the days of yore, as this cold brew ice cream leaves my bloodstream and I can sleep again.

At least ’till next churn.

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