We all know what today is. It’s Cinco de Mayo. I won’t even mince words. Let’s get our margarita drink on something awful. Let’s make some bad decisions and mull them over aspirin by the water cooler tomorrow.

It’s a stereotype. Flow with it.

That’s just what you do today. You dust off your cocktail shaker, break out that margarita cookbook you bought last year, and its on and poppin’.


Except there’s this lime shortage. Something to do with farmers and drug cartels in Mexico. Limes are now worth their weight in fragrant juice and zest. It has reached apocalyptic proportions. You’re bartering your diamond rings for this fragrant citrus. It will get Mad Max beyond Tunderdome soon.

Side note: I want to wear that Tina Turner outfit.

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Lime, shlime. Don’t dip into your kid’s college fund just yet. I got you. We don’t need margaritas!

You can make a cocktail out of anything.


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Let’s create a super concentrated fruit syrup. For our cocktails and whatnot.

I love super concentrated fruit syrups. You can use them in homemade sodas or in this case, cocktails. Because we ARE having cocktails today.

And this? This is easy like a mofo. All you need is:

  • water
  • sugar
  • fruit
  • time
  • Willingness to drink that DRANK!

You digging this?

Alright… This all goes in a pot with a splash of vanilla extract. You boil until the fruit has released its juices and has softened. Then you strain it, and reduce it some more until thick and syrupy and cocktail ready.

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That’s it. What you do after that is totally up to you. Although I do wish you’d pour some tequila on this mofo, top with some ice, then celebrate this Cinco de Mayo jammy the way you’re supposed to.

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It’s only right…

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