Ladies and Gentlemen – I bring you the Clove Julep!! With earthy whole cloves, sprightly mint, Bourbon, and a generous squeeze of lime – This cocktail breathes new life into the classic julep situation!
Let’s Real Talk for a second, guys. I need to let this out. My health is getting out of control and I have absolutely no motivation to exercise. None!! Not even a little, little bit.
Why can’t I just eat cookies?!
I’m sleeping early(ish). I’m eating (slightly) better. When I say better I just mean I didn’t stuff a cookie, cake, or piece of chocolate in my mouth today.
But exercise? Pfft. Eff that. I just can’t do it. Last year I was part of a group of people who exercised and I loved it. No, that’s not true. I hated every pushup, every lift of leg, every run, and every damn stretch. The people, however, I loved. We were different, true – Yet we shared a common goal and our team leader called us out on our “bitchassness” often. I shared great moments with those mofos.
At some point my team disbanded and I was so angry I stopped exercising altogether. So did the entire core team. We held each other accountable, we cheered each other on. That was the best part. We bitched about our soreness together. As a team. We cursed out our team leader and that mofo laughed in our faces because he knew we were progressing.
This one time it took 3 whole days following several (like a million) sets of calf lifts and squats to walk straight. I looked like a ‘just birthed’ baby giraffe. Have you seen that? You should. That was me. I spent all of Mother’s Day TRYING to plant my feet on the ground. And when I finally did (3 WHOLE days later), I came back to my workouts.
It worked FOR ME. And though some wax poetic about how I NEED to do this for myself, that I don’t need a team – I respond: If it worked, did my approach matter? Does it matter that I NEED a support group? Does it matter that I found a set of individuals who needed me as much as I needed them?
I’m jiggling people. Put a pair of pants on cottage cheese and those are my thighs. It makes me angry and sad to have such little motivation.
Do you want to know what I did yesterday morning? I woke up at 5AM with the FULL intention of working out. I opened my eyes, stared at the TV and was instantly captivated by the first five minutes of Law and Order, a show I BARELY watch. I preferred watching a show CRAMMED with bad acting (I’m talking to you Ice T!) than get my body moving.
And that’s a problem.
So while I work this shit out, figuratively and literally – Here’s a Clove Julep. The Kentucky Derby, flowered dresses, and hats with their own zip codes will be here before you know it. And I want you to be ready. I breathed some life into the Classic Mint Julep with a clove simple syrup, loads of mint, bourbon, and a generous squeeze of lemon juice.
This Clove Julep is refreshing, reminiscent of the classic with a nice earthy sweet twist.
I may just get distracted and drunk on these Clove Juleps instead.
- For the clove simple syrup
- Whole cloves - 2 heaping tablespoons
- Water - 1 cup
- Granulated sugar - 1 cup
- For the clove julep
- Clove simple syrup - 2 1/2 tablespoons
- Mint Leaves - 12
- Bourbon - 1 1/2 - 2 ounces
- Juice of 1/2 lemon
- Whole cloves for garnish (optional)
- Mint leaves for garnish (optional)
Make the clove simple syrup:
In small saucepan, combine whole cloves, water, and sugar. Bring to a boil over medium/high heat. Reduce heat to low and simmer until the sugar is dissolved and the syrup is a light amber color. Remove from heat and allow syrup to come to room temperature. Strain the mixture into a glass jar with a tight fitting lid. Discard the cloves and store simple syrup until ready to use.
Make the clove julep:
To a tall glass, add the clove simple syrup and mint leaves. Muddle with a muddler or back of a wooden spoon until the mint is fragrant. Add the bourbon, followed lemon juice, ice and seltzer. Stir quickly to combine. Garnish with whole cloves and mint leaves, if desired.