There are things people shouldn’t waste any time in telling you.
- When your dress is tucked inside your panties
- When you have toilet paper in your shoe
- When there’s a glob of eye liner in the corner of your eye
- When you have a huge visible boogie in your nose
- When your zipper is open
- When your top is inside out
- When your purse is open
Someone should tap you on the shoulder and tell you these things. No one should go around with their dress tucked inside their panties for longer than 30 seconds. Trust – It’s happened to me and it’s embarrassing as f***.
Do you know what else people should immediately tell you?
Beets are damn good for you.
Don’t waste time on that jammy. Tap your neighbor.
Tell them now!
And make a smoothie.
Real talk? Growing up I wasn’t a fan of beets. Whenever I was forced to eat them it felt like chewing on juicy red earth. It wasn’t disgusting, just not very palatable. So I avoided beets. I thought with all my heart that I hated them when I really didn’t. It was all a big misunderstanding.
Now that I’m an adult I can appreciate the detoxifying, anti-inflammatory, and heart healthy quality of beets. Look it up. It’s all good shit.
A chick is getting old. And as you age, your goal suddenly becomes – “I want to reach old age with my body in good working condition and my mind intact”.
I mean, I want to play bingo wearing a velour suit and a visor that does not match my velour suit at all. I want to knit bad ass scarves.
I want to be called Big Mama and bake bad ass cookies for the kiddos.
And I want to sport a wig – A huge afro wig with my visor. The grandkids will be all, “Big Mama – What is up with your hair?!” And I’ll pretend I haven’t the slightest idea what they’re talking about.
So that’s the goal.
For real, real? For a couple of years I wasn’t taking care of my body. I was destroying it and my body was all – Hold up, bitch! – And fought back.
Stuff started hurting, I was feeling lethargic. The body wasn’t cooperating. One day I took a hard look at my nekkid self, the self I had been avoiding in the mirror.
I didn’t like it, nor did I enjoy wrapping a measuring tape around my waist and discovering my waist was also nowhere near my 26 inch situation.
I started to change things around. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s been hella hard. I would derail any small progress I made.
But the thing is I began to identify the triggers which prompted my destructive behavior and began to change or eradicate them.
And now I’m sharing smoothies and whatnot.
So this beet situation. Flow with me.
Beets are the heart of it all. I however, acknowledge beets are a juicy earth situation. Not everyone digs them. So I somewhat hid the beet flavor with carrots, oranges, and bananas. Other than the fruits and veggies themselves, there is no added sweetener. Beets and carrots are naturally sweet. I also use juice oranges which are almost always on the sweet side and very ripe bananas. It helps. For serious, yo.
What’s the process here?
Add everything except the bananas to your blender, followed by water – Fill that jammy to the max line. Blend until completely smooth. I own a Ninja. You need to look into that jammy. It’s a workhorse. Strain the solids and return to the blender. Add bananas and blend once more. Sometimes I add ginger and some ground flax seed.
This smoothie is a brick house. It’s mighty, mighty. Sorry – Knee-jerk reaction. Couldn’t help myself.
You’re hydrated and healthfied. You feel like a beet drinking Popeye, whatever that means.
And that’s what’s up.
If you prefer more substance to your smoothies – Milk and plain yogurt are good options. Add them after you strain the solids, blending with the bananas and you’re golden.
I can get all nerd-i-licious on you. Talk you to death about beets and their healthylicious properties.
But I’m not going to. I’m going to tap you on the shoulder – Tap you in the same way I would, if, Let’s say – Your dress were tucked inside your panties.
Allow me to reiterate – No one should walk around with their dress tucked inside their panties for longer than 30 seconds, just like no one should wait to be healthy.
To a blender add beets, oranges, carrots, and ginger (if using). Add cold water to the blender, right up to the fill line. Blend until smooth, about 3-5 minutes, depending on the power of your blender.
Turn off the blender and strain the solids over a cup with a lip. I use a 1 quart measuring cup I purchased at the .99 store. Press on the solids to extract as much liquid as possible. Discard the solids.
Return the strained mixture to the blender and add the bananas. Blend on high until smooth. Taste and if you find it is not sweet enough, add another banana.
Serve over ice.
Makes about 7 cups.