I’m turning 37 tomorrow. And to be completely honest, this is the first time in a long, long time I don’t want to curl into a fetal position and wait for the day to end. This is the first time in a very long time I won’t look in the mirror on the morning of my birthday and think, “Holy crap – I look like a California Raisin!”
I’m actually looking forward to celebrating the exact moment I came into the world.
There will be no cake, but there will be booze. ‘Cause I’m grown and sexyfied. There will be no party, but I will be wearing this amazing teal dress.
‘Cause… I’m grown, I’m sexy… And I love my voluptuous curves.
There will be dinner, and presents, cards… ‘Cause after years and years of failed birthdays, Mr. M.O.B. has gotten it right.
I invite you – All of you into my world. Celebrate with me. Celebrate my birthday the ENTIRE WEEKEND.
Yes?
YES!
Make this pineapple coconut mojito situation.
Like most of my drinks this season, this mojito starts with a simple syrup.
No, wait – With 2 fruit based simple syrups. OK – Here’s the thing. I love making fruity simple syrups. Not only do they last for like EVER in the fridge, but when you want to whip up a cocktail, all you have to do is whip out your syrups and get widdit.
You feel me?
So yes, we’re making 2 simple syrups here. One pineapple simple syrup – Which was my favorite syrup of the season, and a simple lime syrup. Because… What the hell is a mojito without a lime situation?
The simple syrups get added to a tall glass with the mint. You muddle that. Muddle it good and nice. Have you purchased a muddler yet? Get on that. Makes your life easier.
Add the pineapple and smash that with your muddler. And of course, since this is a pineapple coconut mojito situation and I’m latina – Coco Lopez. Add your rums, coconut and white rum. Stir this situation, then top with seltzer.
Garnish it. We’re celebrating my birthday here. I love accessorizing. GARNISH.IT! I’m giving you the recipe for 1 mojito, but what I really want is for you to make two. Grab one on each hand and alternate sipping from each glass till it’s gone.
Repeat.
Because again… We’re celebrating.
I’m celebrating.
I’m celebrating that I have all my teeth.
That I really don’t look like a California Raisin, just an older wiser version of my 18 year old self.
That my hair is streaked with gray and I will NOT dye it.
That I am no longer destroying myself.
That for the first time in my life I’m considering tattooing the lower half of my body.
That I feel like nothing, nothing is impossible.
That I’m turning 37 and that shit ain’t no thang, ’cause you’re as old as you feel.
And today I feel unstoppable.
Drink up, homies…
[purerecipe]
Pineapple Coconut Mojito
Ingredients
Pineapple Simple Syrup
- 1 cup pineapple chunks fresh or canned
- 1 cup water
- 1 cup sugar
Lime Simple Syrup
- Juice and zest of 2 limes
- 1/2 cup water
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar
Pineapple Coconut Mojito Situation
- 1/2 oz 1 tablespoon pineapple simple syrup
- 1/2 oz 1 tablespoon lime simple syrup
- 4-5 mint leaves
- 3-4 pineapple chunks as large as you want
- 1 1/2 teaspoons Coco Lopez
- 1.5-2 ounces coconut rum I used Malibu
- 1.5-2 ounces white rum I used Bacardi
- Ice
- Seltzer
- sugar cane for garnish
- mint leaves for garnish
Instructions
Make the pineapple simple syrup:
- In a small saucepan combine pineapple chunks, water and sugar. Stir until the sugar is mostly dissolved and bring to a boil over medium/high heat. Reduce the heat to low and allow to simmer until the sugar is completely dissolved, the pineapple is sort of translucent, and the mixture has a sort of syrup consistency. This will take about 10 minutes or so. Strain nto a measuring cup with a lip, pressing on the pineapple to extract as much liquid as possible. Discard the pineapple or save it for another use (ice cream topping!). Pour the syrup into a container with a tight fitting lid
- and allow to come to room temperature uncovered. Makes a bout 1 1/4 cup of simple syrup.
Make the Lime Simple Syrup:
- In a small saucepan combine the lime juice, zest, water, and sugar. Stir until the sugar is mostly dissolved and bring to a boil over medium/high heat. Reduce the heat to low and allow to simmer until the sugar is completely dissolved, and the mixture has syrup consistency. This will take about 10 minutes or so. Strain into a measuring cup with a lip and discard the zest.Pour the syrup into a container with a tight fitting lid and allow to come to room temperature uncovered. Makes a scant 3/4 cup of simple syrup.
Make the mojito:
- To an 8 oz glass add the pineapple and lime simple syrups. Add the mint and muddle with a muddler or the handle of a wooden spoon until the mint is crushed and has released its fragrance.
- Add the pineapple chunks and muddle until smashed, just a few seconds. Add the Coco Lopez, coconut and white rums. Stir to combine, add ice, and top with seltzer. Make that situation pretty and garnish it with some sugar cane and mint leaves. Be one of those people who likes to garnish stuff. Makes 1 mojito, but feel free to double, triple, or quadruple this situation. The simple syrups are enough for several mojitos.
